I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
