Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
