Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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