Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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