bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
