the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
