Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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