It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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