I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
