he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
