Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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