Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
