I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I forgot wine drunk hurts
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
