Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
