Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
