it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
