Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
