I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
