I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
