Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize