I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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