Princesses don't give blow jobs
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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