So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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