Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize