She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize