You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize