AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You don't make any sense
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