just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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