So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.