i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard