we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
