i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
