Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.