I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina