Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
