She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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