I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
