What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
