He is an equal opportunity slut.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
