3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
