Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
