I faked an abortion last night.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize