No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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