Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Four minutes until I can fart!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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