how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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