Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
