what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
