he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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