I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
