if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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