Buhtt sex?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
