problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was confusing and full of hummus
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
