I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
