It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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