8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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