Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
