Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
