a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
