And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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