i jhust puked up my retainher.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
