she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
