I can tuck mytits in my pants
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
