I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i will never coherently bang her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
