I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
