He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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