I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
