But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
