I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
