He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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