She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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